You’ve probably heard, but if not: President Trump is Satan.

He also, apparently, wants to murder people (here).

And poop on them.

Yes — poop (here).

It remains unclear whether the pooping would take place before or after the slayings, but if he’s got a pretty good mind for this sorta thing, I’d go with before.

Better.

But maybe he’s not that good at it: According to data obtained by the Washington Examiner, those detained by Immigration and Customs Enforcement — otherwise known as cold-hearted ICE — are dying at roughly the same rates as they did under that most perfect of all world leaders, Barack Obama.

Strange.

During Barack’s first year in the White House, 10 foreigners kicked the bucket while in custody. In 2012, 5 flew the mortal coop; and in 2016, a dozen went to dozin’.

Now take a look at Trump’s stats: 10 hit horizontal in 2017; 12 were posthumously planted in 2018; and as of March 5th, there’d been no fiscal year final flickers.

In addition to Trump’s numbers being on par with Obama’s, they’re far lower than figures from 15 years ago: 2004 saw 32 people get their harps — or…what do they play in hell? I’m pretty sure it’s bagpipes.

In 2005, 20 joined the buried band.

It should be noted, though, that more people were caught sneakin’ across the Mexican border in the early 2000’s.

As stated by the Examiner:

The number of people arrested for illegally crossing into the U.S. has…dropped from more than 1 million to half that figure. As that figure dropped, the number of immigrants being held in federal custody also decreased, along with the number of deaths.

As for digits under Donald in comparison to the last guy, of course, none of this information is likely to penetrate the mainstream media; its chances aren’t good for soarin’ ‘cross the liberal airwaves. And it’s virtually guaranteed not to even approach the forcefield around the noggins of your left-wing family and friends.

They’ll stick to their Trump-is-Beelzebub mantra.

Donald the Devil will live on. The Poopin’ President will persist.

But for those who care, despite the excoriation of things at the border under the current administration (here, here, here, here, and here), it ain’t much different than before.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Even a change…from Hope and Change.

-Alex

 

Relevant RedState links in this article: hereherehere, here, here, here, and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: unbiased media bias, a chick inseminating a dude, and who’s in the FBI?

Find all my RedState work here.

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