Buckle up for this one.

On Wednesday, Highway Patrol was dispatched on a suspicious persons call to a rest area along Florida’s northbound I-75.

Trooper Daniele Poulin came upon a startling sight: three completely naked young black females.

The buck-nekkid teens explained they’d showered and were “air drying.”

That makes absolutely perfect sense. #Nature

A case of water and a bottle of soap lay on the ground.

According to an eye-witness account, the in-the-buff unbashfuls were standing outside applying suntan lotion prior to Trooper Daniele’s arrival.

Mid-questioning with the cop, the leafless ladies jumped into a Nissan Sentra and hightailed it outta there.

Fast-forward to a convenience store parking lot where the car was found. When a trooper attempted to arrest one of the now-clothed trio as she was exiting the store, the Nissan’s driver tried to run him over.

Next, one of the chicks hopped out of the car with a pink baseball bat and headed toward the officer. Another cop quickly rammed the Sentra with his patrol car. With all three lasses loaded back in their ride, a chase ensued.

Eventually, law enforcement’s stop sticks popped the vehicle’s right tire and a PIT maneuver ended the ordeal.

Or so the cops thought–

The liberal lamsters wouldn’t exit the sedan, so police had to break out a window. All three resisted, their arms intertwined. Each belligerent nudist fugitive had to be tasered in order to comply.

What the freakin’ heck??

The girls were ID’d as Oasis Hakira McLeod, 18, and 19-year-olds Jeniyah McLeod and Cecilia Eunique Young.

They were locked up in the Pasco County jail and charged with fleeing to elude, resisting arrest, aggravated assault, indecent exposure, and marijuana possession. Driver Oasis earned a DUI count on top.

Nicely done, ladies — strip butt-nekkid, bathe in the sun, exhibit your two-tone parts at a rest stop, skedaddle from the cops, take a swing at baseball battery, try to plow over the police, and fight ’em when they try to cuff ya. Get the shock of 50,000 volts.

I’d say that’s more than a day’s work, in the lives of America’s Craziest Nudists.

-Alex

 

See 3 more pieces from me: cultural insensitivity, Chick-fil-A roasts Starbucks, and slut shaming.

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