How wild was your Easter?

A Christian congregation in San Diego probably has you beat.

Non-denominational Tsidkenu Church — which meets at Mount Everest Academy — has had some interesting encounters with 31-year-old Anna Conkey. On April 15th, the Navy veteran’s Facebook post — accompanied by a link to an hour-long video — announced that God had given her a message for the church.

Vid from yesterday: here’s your proof the “Holy” Bible is a trap! “Listen to the wail of the shepard’s; their rich…

Posted by Anna Conkey on Monday, April 15, 2019

Upon attempting to deliver the divine directive in person, staff called the police and ordered her to leave.

🙁

On Easter, she decided to give it another shot.

Taking a different approach, this time she burst into the service sportin’ a gun and her 10-month-old baby.

Oh — and she threatened to blow the place up.

Interesting strategy; hard to imagine Noah tryin’ it. But I gotta say — it’s a real attention-getter.

She took to the stage, waved the gun around, and talked about the rapture.

Apparently, Anna’s quite the conspiracy theorist:

“She was saying craziness about the rapture not being real, and everyone going to hell,” one witness recalled.

[She] has ranted in YouTube videos and on Facebook posts that Jesus is a “liar” and the Bible is a “trap.”

Also:

Just hours before storming the church, she posted a passage from The Book of Zechariah 10:2: “For the idols speak delusion; the diviners envision lies, and tell false dreams; they comfort in vain. Therefore the people wend their way like sheep; they are in trouble because there is no shepherd.”

So the chick was ready to drop some serious spiritual science.

Unfortunately:

[Pastor Benjamin Wisan] said that Conkey seemed confused and he described her as being “not in her right mind.” He said that instead of speaking, Conkey was just uttering random words, and that nobody could understand what she wanted.

Churchgoers didn’t much appreciate the firearmed, baby-endangerin’ nonsense message from the Creator of the Universe via a nut.

So they tackled her.

David Michael Miller, a military member who was one of the people reportedly subduing Conkey, told ABC 7, “After she started pointing the gun at the baby one of the older gentlemen grabbed it from her and then me and a couple of other men tackled her. We got the baby away from her. A few minutes after that, the cops came in. She was trying to run away or something so a cop tackled her through a row of chairs.”

Nicely done, everyone.

Now Anna’s in the hands of the Almighty Authorities.

Her baby and her 5-year-old daughter — who was nearby at the time of her attempt at Moses coming down from Mt. Sinai — have been taken into protective custody.

Oh, and there was this:

“[The cops] arrested her and pulled another gun out of her bra.”

Now that’s something you don’t see at church every week.

Anna Conkey is a freelance journalist who’s worked for NBC.

-Alex

 

See 3 more pieces from me: 

HILARIOUS: A Little Boy Calls 911 Because He’s Hungry. What Happens Next Will Be Your Favorite Story This Week

All Aboard The Idiot Train: Healthy Manhattan Restaurant’s Owner Gets Condemned For The Stupidest Of Reasons

YOU HAVE TO SEE IT: Data Company Creates Brown-Pinned San Francisco Poop Map In Honor Of 118,352 Piles Reported

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