Aaand it’s here.
The time has come, folks — it’s right into the belly of the beast for that most controversial and delicious supplier of waffle fries and social justice heartache (here and here): This week, Chick-fil-A opens its first-ever location in ultra-left-wing Seattle.
Hold on to your (kitty) hats.
Eater reports that hipsters will be able to Eat Mor Chikin on Thursday, June 27th.
In a place called — perhaps appropriately — Bitter Lake.
Some hungry fools are most likely already camping out. According to Western Washington’s KIRO Channel 7, that isn’t unusual:
In the past, opening events have included parking lot campouts of fans hoping to win a year’s worth of free meals. They’ve also caused traffic jams for weeks. In 2015, the opening of the Bellevue location had police officers directing traffic to keep cars moving and the crowds continued for several weeks. The city had to implement a new traffic plan to accommodate the massive lines of cars traveling around the restaurant.”
More on the freebies and fanaticism, from Eater:
Die-hard fans of the often-controversial Chick-fil-A chain camped out in subzero temperatures for an opening in Elmhurst, Illinois, suffering through the cold to earn free Chick-fil-A meals for a year. WGN reports that dozens of people camped out overnight in “tents and survival gear” to be among the first inside. It’s a Chick-fil-A tradition to offer the first 100 customers one free meal (a sandwich, fries, and a drink) every week for a year: some fans travel out-of-state for each successive franchise opening in an attempt to score the deal.
Sub-zero! That’s love right there.
Of course, not everyone’s smitten.
Here’s Katie Herzog for The Stranger:
Eater reports that America’s
bestmost homophobic chicken chain will be opening their first location in Seattle’s Bitter Lake, a north Seattle neighborhood I’ve never been to been to but frankly, sounds like my kind of place.
The store is scheduled to open at the end of the month (Happy Pride!) and while one more fast food franchise wouldn’t normally be news, this is semi-notable because Dan Cathy, Chick-fil-A’s president, is a notorious hater of gays. Cathy has given millions to groups that oppose same-sex marriage and has previously said that he supports “the biblical definition of the family unit,” which, I assume, means he thinks fathers should demand their prospective sons-in-law to present the patriarch with a bouquet of 100 foreskins before he’ll allow the couple to marry. Or maybe he’s more into the family unit in which a dad asks a mob to rape his daughters instead of the angels they’d rather rape instead? Either way, dude is a major Jesus freak, and while he backed away from some of his previous anti-gay sentiments after people started protesting his chicken shack, the company isn’t exactly known for its progressive values.
Well, if you’re not of the Katie Herzog school of thought, you may wanna check out a tasty chocolate shake with whipped cream and a cherry near a lake named for misery in the place that formally Smelled Like Teen Spirit. Starting Thursday, a north Seattle neighborhood will smell like lunch.
Are you in Seattle and wanting to join the First 100 campout? Find out more in the video below.
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