Beto O’Rourke seems intent upon making the biggest goofball possible of himself.

Among other ridiculousness, he’s promised to fight against privileged wealth — as he backstrokes in his own, from inheritance and nuptials (here).

When a politician promises to wage war against the wealthy, that sounds to me as if he’s/she’s focused on American failure rather than success. Or, at least, that they’re trying to win the poor’s vote by making them covetous. Still, I’ll listen to every single word they have to say — so long as they first give away 100% of their net worth, minus that of the average American.

Otherwise, they’re full of it.

Given his rhetoric, Beto’s several millions of dollars away from me pencilling him in.

Wanna see what marrying into a half-billion dollar family and trying to pretend otherwise looks like? Wanna watch someone try to gain the White House as something they’re not, rather than who they really are?

This may be his goofiest move yet.

On Monday, the a**-waxing, ball-scrubbing poet posted a video:

Hey — that dude must be an Ultimate Everyman!

He must be just like me! Welp, that settles it — he’s got my vote.

All he has to do now is sell every single asset his family has, but hold onto something worth $288,700…then put all the cash in the back of that truck and whistle and wait.

It oughta be empty by sundown.

In the meantime…

GYAH.

Hey, Beto, millionaires don’t have to change tires. I know a guy who delivers sandwiches for a living, and even he has AAA. You can certainly be rich and do your own work; but c’mon, dude. A video of it?? Why?

Witness the Twitter:

He certainly does look really, really together and not at all sweaty to be changing a giant tire in August in Texas.

Geez.

I anxiously await your comments.

-ALEX