San Francisco is very, very woke.

And now, America’s favorite political insomniac is adorned with some spiffy new terms for its lawfully-challenged chums.

If you’re of the criminal persuasion, as relayed by the San Francisco Chronicle, man — has San Fran got a new vocabulary for you.

Thanks to a non-binding resolution passed by the city’s Board of Supervisors, the city’s poised to encourage criminals to behave themselves via the robust power of sweet and tender language.

Crooks don’t need crappiness; they just require a little romancin’.

There’s certainly a lack of lovin’ as of late: Stats reveal that one out of every five residents has a criminal record.

Nicely done, San Francisco.

Therefore, a new “person first” approach will swat the monstrous malady like a flea-sized fly with that most devastating of all earthly forces — syllables.

From now on, words that might encourage “negative predispositions” and “unfounded assumptions” are out the door.

The new verbiage is “stigma”-free.

From the Chronicle:

The words “felon,” “offender,” “convict,” “addict” and “juvenile delinquent” would be part of the past in official San Francisco parlance under new “person first” language guidelines adopted by the Board of Supervisors.

Going forward, what was once called a convicted felon or an offender released from jail will be a “formerly incarcerated person,” or a “justice-involved” person or simply a “returning resident.”

Parolees and people on criminal probation will be referred to as a “person on parole,” or “person under supervision.”

A juvenile “delinquent” will become a “young person with justice system involvement,” or a “young person impacted by the juvenile justice system.”

And drug addicts or substance abusers will become “a person with a history of substance use.”

Ring the bells! Problems solved!

Police Spokesman David Stevenson reports the department has “made [their] members aware of the resolution and [is] researching possible impacts on operations and communications.”

Bonus: The District Attorney’s on board.

Here’s the new system employed:

The language resolution makes no mention of terms for victims of crime, but using the new terminology someone whose car has been broken into could well be: “A person who has come in contact with a returning resident who was involved with the justice system and who is currently under supervision with a history of substance use.”

In other words, someone whose car was broken into by a recently released offender, on parole with a drug problem.

Supervisor Matt Haney was one of 10 supervisors who voted in favor of the new guidelines.

He’s glad the whole thing’s fixed now:

“We want them ultimately to become contributing citizens, and referring to them as felons is like a scarlet letter that they can never get away from.”

A fine job completed.

Who says government isn’t the answer?

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

Woke Collision: San Fran Homeless Advocates Go To War With Gay Sushi Restaurant Over A Rock Where A Body Should Be

Women In Vancouver Lose Their Businesses As A Man Tries To Legally Force Them Into Waxing His LadyScrotum 

Ben Carson Tells America: Donald Trump Is ‘Not A Racist’

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