So what’s the best remedy for a madman with a rifle, two handguns, and murderous will?
A security guard with pepper spray.
So seem to believe a group of stuents at the University of Minnesota.
They demand that the only thing standing between them and the bullet of a mass killer is a bottle full of juice from a spicy fruit.
As reported by The College Fix, the aspiring security specialists are participating in a sit-in outside the president’s office. The rally’s a follow-up to the 2018 protest in front of the UM Police Department.
And they expect their demands to be met, buster!
Tell ’em, world-changers, like ya did to the Minnesota Daily:
“This is essentially a reminder that we expect these demands to be met.”
The activists aren’t just gunning for progress in the danger department; they’re also commanding the school which they don’t own to “increase the diversity of the student population.”
How might that be done? The college is already open to the public.
Nevertheless, the revolutionaries — who come courtesy of Students for a Democratic Society — insist UM must be a place where lots of minorities are in mortal jeopardy.
The rally was referred to as a “study-in,” because students gotta study.
One organizer summed up the protest’s genius:
“The goal is to occupy space…to keep it chill and study.”
That’ll get ’em.
One apt pupil told the Daily, “I have a midterm in half an hour. I agree with the resolutions [from SDS], I just have to balance social justice with school.”
Attendees snacked on Halloween-themed donuts and coffee as they studied.
It’ll be interesting if, at some point years from now, one of the protestors has to call the cops because armed robbers are bustin’ into their home:
“Yes, 911? Guys in black masks with guns are coming through our windows. Please send help. Oh, and by the way — make sure police in no way bring firearms. I demand it. Also, dispatch a lot of non-whites.”
As for their power presently, a Student Government initiative to disarm campus popo failed last year by almost 400 votes.
That ain’t much, but the aspiring security specialists have their work cut out for them: At the sit-in, there were only 8.
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