South Korean Soccer Team Apologizes After Being Accused of Filling Empty Seats with Sex Dolls

(AP Photo/Eduardo Munoz Alvarez)
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New York City FC’s Alexander Callens, right, fights for the ball against Atlanta United FC’s Darlington Nagbe during an Eastern Conference MLS soccer semifinal matchup Sunday, Nov. 4, 2018, in New York. (AP Photo/Eduardo Munoz Alvarez)
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South Korean soccer just got a lot sexier.

On May 17th, team FC Seoul faced a fierce televised match against Gwangju FC.

But how was it gonna look on TV? Due to COVID considerations, no one was allowed in the stands.

Someone came up with a doll of an idea: Install 30 mannequins to fill the void.

That’ll do it.

When the clock struck Game Time, small screens all over lit up with those mesmerizing orbs the people at home love to watch.

I’m not talking about soccer balls; I mean breasts.

Oddly, 28 of the stadium’s inanimate spectators were female.

And bottom line: Viewers noticed that the sallies in the seats were top-heavy.

Fans took to FC’s Instagram page with a bit of boobtalk bombardment.

One user did the math:

“Just look at their breasts, they were four times bigger than those of normal mannequins.”

But the K League 1 team defended its use of classy fake ladies — after all, they were only “premium mannequins.”

Hmmm…define premium.

After all, some armchair centre-backs noted the faux folks were holding signs advertising X-rated websites — despite the fact that pornography is illegal in South Korea.

As it turned out, the mannequins’ supplier — Dalcom — does indeed produce adult products.

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As per the BBC, “Dalcom said the adverts came from a sex toy company who placed orders with Dalcom, and wanted to take pictures of the mannequins before the game.”

Oops.

“They were supposed to take all the logos down before the game started,” Dalcom director Cho Young-june told the BBC. “But there were several hairbands and logos left to be caught by public eye.”

But they weren’t sex dolls, just so you know.

Here’s more from The Associated Press:

FC Seoul said it was attempting to add ”an element of fun” with the mannequins. The team said it was repeatedly reassured by Dalkom, the company that produced the mannequins, that they weren’t sexual products.

But when providing its products for the stadium, Dalkom reused some of the mannequins it previously supplied to another company, FC Seoul said.

The club’s statement didn’t directly address criticism of why it chose to work with Dalkom, which does manufacture sex dolls, according to the company’s website, or why nearly all the mannequins at the stadium were female in design.

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In case you were wondering how soccer’s being played amid a pandemic, the league’s instituted some special rules, as laid out by the BBC:

As well as empty stands, handshakes are banned, and coaches have to wear facemasks.

“Excessive spitting or blowing of the nose is prohibited and players should refrain from close conversations,” said a K League official before the first match.

Well, it’s good that blowing noses is limited. As for blowing it with obscene onlookers, at least we’ve been assured the phonies weren’t fashioned for funny business.

Still, perhaps not everyone’s convinced — one Instagrammer insisted it was “so obvious” they were sex dolls.

And Sky News reported thusly:

FC Seoul have apologized after they accidentally used sex dolls rather than normal mannequins to populate their stadium for Sunday’s game at home to Gwangju.

Either way, I have some advice for FC Seoul: Maybe next time, don’t order your mannequins from an adult novelty manufacturer.

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Besides, I know where you can get a bunch of stiff, seated females.

Ad they’ll really pop on camera, ’cause they’re draped in white:

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

A South Carolina Restaurant Uses Blow-Up Dolls to Make Sure Customers Keep Their Distance

Take a Peek Into Portland’s Drive-Thru Strip Joint, and Gawk Over Its Name for Disrobed Deliveries

Woman Gets Shot in the Chest, Her Implant Deflects the Bullet

Find all my RedState work here.

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