AP featured image
Tiger Woods celebrates after he won the Masters golf tournament Sunday, April 14, 2019, in Augusta, Ga. (AP Photo/David J. Phillip)

 

Well, it was bound to happen: A whistle’s been blown on The Masters golf tournament.

Foul. Penalty. Change of name required.

Sportswriter Rob Parker is sounding the alarm on the famed tournament which — as per The Daily Wire — “has the smallest field of the major championships, with 90–100 players.”

Despite the competition featuring golf’s most skilled technicians — those who have mastered it, if you will — the “M” word, apparently, is eminently and impossibly immoral.

“The racist names and symbols are going by the wayside quicker than you can keep up,” Rob writes on Deadspin.com. “Even Uncle Ben’s, Mrs. Butterworth’s, and Aunt Jemima are all out of work. Their racist/stereotypical images won’t grace the packaging of some of our long-standing food products soon. But let’s not stop there. There’s a bigger one in the room that needs to be addressed, changed and removed.”

The Fox Sports 1 contributor’s already lined up a replacement:

“The name ‘The Masters’ must go. The heralded golf tournament, one of the four majors, needs to go back to its original name — the Augusta National Invitational. It became the Masters in 1939.”

He thinks the sport’s big wigs should insist:

“Tiger Woods, other big-time golfers and corporate sponsorships should demand it. In the current climate, with all the sweeping changes, it’s only right and just.”

Imagine the game on your flatscreen — that big, lush patch of green; those little colored flags; a commentator who sounds like he popped a few Alprazolams; the least enthusiastic clapping in the history of hitting things with sticks…

Now sound out the tournament’s name.

How does it feel? And where are your thoughts?

Now see if you and Rob are a pair of podded peas:

“The Masters never felt good or even sounded good when you said it. … When you hear anyone say the Masters, you think of slave masters in the south. There’s nothing else, nothing special. You don’t think of someone mastering the game of golf. When has anyone mastered golf?”

Furthermore, the erstwhile ESPN regular observes that “Augusta National admitted no African American members until 1990 and no women members until 2012.” Moreover, “the club long required all caddies to be black and banned black golfers from the Masters Tournament until Lee Elder participated in 1975.”

Want more proof of change’s non-negotiable need? Rob points to the world’s source for solid syllabic info:

“Even at dictionary.com, one of the definitions you get for ‘master’ is ‘owner of a slave.”’

There are, of course, other places to look.

A few offerings from Merriam-Webster:

master – noun

    • a male teacher
    • often capitalized: a revered religious leader
    • a worker or artisan qualified to teach apprentices
    • an artist, performer, or player of consummate skill
    • one that conquers or masters
    • a person licensed to command a merchant ship
    • a youth or boy too young to be called mister — used as a title
    • the eldest son of a Scottish viscount or baron

And — TRIGGER WARNING:

    • the male head of a household

If Rob’s right, we’ve got more problems than just “master.” What about other slavish terms? Ever invest in stocks or bonds?

It seems to me society’s headed toward a place where we just designate everything offensive and everything canceled. Call it a Hard Reset. And if everything’s unacceptable, then nothing is.

But ’til we reach that point, if you get your bachelor’s degree and consider going further…stop right there, ya jerk.

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

They Were Slow as Molasses: Quaker Finally Cancels Aunt Jemima

History, You’re History: Prominent Prep School Jilts George Washington for Not Being ‘Relevant’

Herschel Walker Offers to Fly Everyone Who Doesn’t Want Police to Places Where There Aren’t Any

Find all my RedState work here.

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