AP featured image
In this photo taken on Aug. 8, 2018, a local ranger for the Environment Agency of Iceland attempts to make a call from the unofficially named Telephone Mountain, in Vesteinn Runarsson, Iceland. Residents and outdoor enthusiasts in northwestern Iceland are communicating their desire to keep internet access out of the country’s Hornstrandir peninsula. (AP Photo/Egill Bjarnason)

 

Are you stressed from the corona?

Iceland’s got just the thing to soothe your soul: the terrifying sounds of shrieking.

As reported by CBS News, Promote Iceland — which markets the majesty of the country in order to scare up tourism — is encouraging people to augment the Icelandic air by going vocally batty. Just a bit of explosively audible idiocy, and you’ll be done with that pent-up, pandemic’d personal pandemonium in no time.

But what if you’re stuck in your home on the other side of the planet? Like Axl Rose in “Welcome to the Jungle,” the Nordic island nation still wants to hear you scream.

Therefore, the land of ice invites you to record yourself losing your $%*! and send it to ’em over the web.

Courtesy of Inspired by Iceland, the “Looks like You Need to Let It Out” campaign allows you to moan like a monstrous maniac into your device’s mic and have it broadcast across the North Atlantic countryside.

The website waxes:

You’ve been through a lot this year and it looks like you need
the perfect place to let your frustrations out. Somewhere big,
vast and untouched. It looks like you need Iceland. Record your
scream and we’ll release it in Iceland’s beautiful, wide-open
spaces. And when you’re ready, come let it out for real. You’ll
feel better, we promise.

It goes on to explain that, according to therapist and mental health consultant Zoë Aston, “Screaming as a therapeutic tool was developed in the 1970s as a way to release pent-up emotion. What we don’t realize is that the psychological response to wanting to scream lights up a part of our brains called the amygdala. The amygdala activates when we are under threat, something we have all experienced in the past few months.”

Zoë says to release the beast:

“Part of the beneficial effect of screaming comes from being able to make a loud noise into a wide, open, undisturbed space. This literally allows your amygdala to release the stress stored there and move forward.”

The page teaches visitors how to nearly blow their O-ring for the sake of anxiety alleviation:

  1. Consider what your ‘scream’ will be. Some people will use volume, some will use words, some may even use breath.
  2. Stand with your feet hip-width apart, a slight bend in your knees. Relax your shoulders. You may find it useful to put your hands on your hips or use your arms to help push out some of the pent-up emotion. Follow your instincts.
  3. Imagine a baby when it cries and screams. The noise comes from the baby’s gut. This is where your scream should come from. If it helps, put your hands on your belly and take a few deep breaths before you begin.

So just do that, and the website’ll provide all the sight and sound you need to observe your ghastly screech ruining a foreign land.

Record yourself at your least sane, then watch that madness resound across God’s green earth.

And it is green — which seems appropriate for a place imploring you to use warlike wailing to attain perfect peace. As you surely know, Greenland is icy and Iceland is emerald.

Inspired by Iceland also permits you to virtually visit 16 parts of the island and view tranquil scenes serenaded by others’ psycho sounds.

#JustWhatTheDoctorOrdered

Are you jonesin’ for some amity tonight?

Just head over to Iceland and give it your best worst.

Oh, and one more thing, as per the site:

This is a starting point. If you need mental health support, it is imperative that you seek out professional help.

Yes — imperative.

Now let’s all work together to howl like he** and hear the horror.

So take that mic and scream like an imbecile.

Did you do it?

Alright, stop — collaborate and listen.

Ice Ice, baby.

-ALEX


 

See more pieces from me:

Party Like It’s 1799: Cops Bust Up an Amish Barn Bash for Violating Ohio’s Stay-at-Home Order

Tail of the Sea: Man Complains of Stomach Pain, Doctors Find a Large Fish in His Rectum

Police in Maryland Issue a Final Warning: Quarantine or Not, You Have to Wear Pants to the Mailbox

In a Heartwarming Video, a Public Worker Serenades a Quarantined 94-Year-Old for Her Birthday

Find all my RedState work here.

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