NPR Lays Down the Law, to the Delight of Masked Snitches

If there are two things everyone looks for in a job, it’s being forced to wear a faux-medical mask all day and working within a snitching culture.

But if I’m wrong, NPR may be hosting some unhappy employees.

As relayed by The Washington Free Beacon, taxpayer-funded National Public Radio is serious about its continued mask mandate.

The Free Beacon has obtained an in-house memo which reportedly reads, “We have asked on-site supervisors to remind staff of the masking requirements when needed.”

The missive goes on — if my interpretation is correct — to indicate that the notion of necessary masking is complete nonsense:

Masking is still required, unless recording alone in a studio, working alone in an office with the doors closed, or actively eating or drinking. (And ‘actively’ does not mean occasionally drinking from a water bottle).

Have germs agreed not to spread if someone has a plate of food in front of them? Does opening one’s spit-covered pie hole make for increased transmission-proofing?

I’d assume not, since germs aren’t likely so generous, plates are a social construct, and mouths are mucusy.

Even so, governments the nation over have taken a similar stand — masks must be worn, masks are non-negotiable…unless the waitress has brought your breadbasket.

But if the above nullifies the foundational argument for masking, NPR’s move is bold indeed.

And it gets bolder; per the Beacon:

Employees at NPR’s headquarters in Washington, D.C., built in 2013 for a total cost of $200 million, were advised as to how to peacefully confront a delinquent colleague in the workplace. “If you notice someone has forgotten their mask, you might tell them, ‘Hey, you forgot your mask.’ It’s actually helping the person to be reminded,” the memo reads. “Nobody is intentionally trying to evade the rule. And if you are reminded to wear your mask, say, ‘Thank you!'”

Americans are turning against one another, and institutions are at times encouraging it:

Snitches Don't Get Stitches: School District Creates 'Bias-Based Incident' Reporting System for Students and Staff
https://t.co/zrlx8oMJ9m

— RedState (@RedState) June 15, 2021

In schools across the country, “Bias Response” teams are looking into “problematic” behavior by students. In particular, speech is being policed:

University Orders Adherence to Preferred Pronouns and Made-Up Monikers, Threatens ‘Action’ Regardless of ‘Intent’

Syr-Accuse: University Will Now Punish Students Who Witness ‘Bias-Motivated’ Behavior and Don’t Take Action

Congressmen Put University in the Hot Seat Over Its Suspension of Medical Student Questioning ‘Microaggressions’

Report: Three Middle Schoolers Have Been Charged With Sexual Harassment for Not Using ‘They/Them’ Pronouns

Back to NPR, there’s more than one way to report a coworker for not wearing a mask that is absolutely medically necessary — except when something’s making your germ-infested mouth water, in which case it’s absolutely medically unnecessary.

Other options for ratting out maskless coworkers include telling human resources supervisors who will confront the offender themselves or sharing “an anonymous concern via the EthicsPoint system,” a not-at-all-totalitarian-sounding name for a workplace snitching platform.

If you ask me, the Beacon is a little hard on NPR. I place this in the arena of “unlikely”:

The network is best known for giving out tote bags in exchange for donations from listeners, who are almost exclusively comprised of Subaru owners with graduate degrees, private equity spouses, environmental terrorists, and irredeemable nerds who have a portrait of Ruth Bader Ginsburg above their toilets.

By contrast, NPR only deals in the realm of “all likelihood”:

Nina Totenberg on source of SCOTUS leak: "The leading theory is a conservative clerk who was afraid that one of the conservatives might be persuaded by Chief Justice Roberts to join a much more moderate opinion." pic.twitter.com/TWzQmA1Uqm

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 8, 2022