When it comes to the cheery demons at America’s infant abattoir, Planned Parenthood, they have a pronounced problem being “with it.” Amazingly, being an abortion provider is not a natural fit for humor, wit, or broad popular relevance.

They are natural scolds, as leftists tend to be. So anyone who makes fun of them is met, of course, with the harshest of social activist rebukes. But they’re also desperate for affection. So when the organization itself tries to be hip, pop culture savvy, or just edgy, they come off looking oblivious, weird, and without fail, absolutely tone-deaf.

As a test case let us look at the organization’s affiliate site in Keystone, Pennsylvania. Yesterday they tried being Buzzfeed-y by tweeting about kid’s movies. And not just any, but the always hot feminism proving ground, Disney Princesses.

It didn’t go well.

Though the tweet was deleted in just a matter of hours, it has lived on in screenshots and Twitter back-and-forths and, I’m sorry to say, terrible Jezebel articles (as if there are any other kind of Jezebel articles).

Here’s the tweet:

As I said, deleted in mere hours. So, even as they predictably terminated the Tweet before the day came to a full term, what you see forever preserved is a brain-dead attempt at achieving the left’s most coveted status: “part of the conversation”.

If you doubt my characterization of this as a fail, just take a peek at the ratio to get a sense of them getting smoked over this Tweet.

That the nation’s abortion provider has any business entering into cultural discussions, especially those regarding children’s entertainment, is beyond tasteless — it is laughably inept. The group tasked with eliminating children has opinions on movie content for movies that would suffer because the audience is smaller, as a direct result of their handiwork. It is a self-defeating enterprise.

If abortions are, as the PPFA PR spin doctors attempt to sell, a relatively small amount of the services they provide, then why are they so focused on promoting abortions? Why is this mere medical procedure that is a small part of what they do so vitally relevant that it requires a Disney princess discussing her health and sex life?

They cook their numbers to make the case that abortions are such a small percentage of their provided service, but that is belied by the ardent manner in which it defends, and lobbies for, this supposedly trivial service.

Of course, it’s not small. It is what makes them who they are. Abortion is their flagship. It is abortion that gets their donations, it is abortion that gets celebrity devotion, it is abortion that keeps the lights on. And by lights I mean both the ones in their offices and the ones on the cameras they covet. Abortion is their storyline. It’s their plot, their reason for being, their very essence.

That’s why Planned Parenthood attempts to infect children’s programming with its message.

And it’s why they want to be culturally relevant, part of the conversation. Activist and intersectional and feminist and edgy.

I mean, look at it. Beyond the cement-headed sentiment of introducing abortion to kids’ shows, look over the rest of the suggested backstory traits for the Disney Princesses; Pro-choice, Trans, Undocumented, and Union worker. Those are the classic social justice/activist “disruptor” topics. And of course, utterly leftist and Democrat.

Interestingly, these promoted subjects seem to contradict the claim by PPFA President Cecile Richards when she said of their group, “We’re non-partisan”.

The primary question I have however centers more on the audacity of them making insistent demands on the creative content of others. The creative arts are, after all, my business.

Sure, it seems obvious why they would suggest that children’s movies carry their messaging. Indoctrination is always the preferred method of forwarding leftism. History has a thousand examples. What’s notable here, then, is not that they are propagandists or wish to subvert elementary school children, but rather it’s that they want this done by proxy.

It’s dismayingly typical that the attempt here was to inflict their poisonous subject matter upon the Disney company. As they want to coerce the most successful family entertainment company to mold plot lines around their preferred content, note what Planned Parenthood is not doing: They are unwilling to produce their own films filled with their desired societal standards. And this is for good reason.

Rather than try to force other studios to bend to their will, why does Planned Parenthood resist making their own motion picture? They clearly have the funds to support the budget of a film. On an annual basis they channel millions into campaigns, lobbying, and other outside influencing efforts. This “non-profit organization” sits on a bankroll in excess of $1 billion. A fairly heady total for a group supposedly strapped for cash and requiring tax funds.

So why not toss say, $20 million towards a modest budget and produce its own animated kids’ film, one populated with heroic abortion princesses and evil pro-life princes?

Because they know it would be a commercial disaster! Of course it would. Like any other group that tries to shoehorn – or sledgehammer – its activist agenda into conventional entertainment, PPFA refuses to create its own product for public consumption because they know the public has no interest in consuming it.

It is far more commercially expedient to retain its own money and try to shame or browbeat others into guiltily including their agenda. Better to threaten than to create. After all, that’s the one thing Planned Parenthood is definitely NOT about: Creating. They go decidedly the other way.

 

— for additional insight, and bad film coverage, tail me on Twitter @MartiniShark