Chalk up another move in the War Against Halloween.

Because every other problem in the New York area has been taken care of, a local television station has sprung into action to correct the latest social scourge. Outrage culture never rests and, in the case of Halloween, neither does it take a holiday.

In Nyack, New York, a local law firm wanted to join the community and set out seasonal decorations in front of its offices. Hay bales and other Autumn items were displayed, as well as an array of pumpkins, each one with the name of a staff member. It was a quaint display that added charm to their hamlet.

Oh wait, sorry — it was a deeply troubling representation of hate and intolerance. Turns out the pumpkins were of varying colors, and a few of the jack-o-lanterns were colored black. Some residents passing by were offended by this and, as we have come to expect, this means action had to take place. And, hilariously, by the local Action News team!

Once the word got out, the local affiliate scrambled its crew of “journalists”. The News 12 crew raced over to confront the partners of the firm about their hateful display. They also did the only logical thing to do in such a deeply troubling situation — they calmed things down by contacting the local chapter of the NAACP. And in an effort to not make this into a hysterical issue, they issued a statement:

Wilbur Aldridge, the regional director at the NAACP, said in a statement that the pumpkin design “shows an extreme lack of sensitivity. By now I would believe everyone [would] know that anything in Blackface is offensive.”

In explaining why they felt so motivated as to place obscene obsidian gourds in front of their business, one partner was apologetic, but also curious about a detail. She declared that she was very curious why these pumpkins were considered a hate crime when they were offered up for sale at a national retailer. That’s right, they had actually purchased these Uncle Tom-o-lanterns from Bed Bath & Beyond.

As this story deepened, the Action 12 crew snapped into action and contacted the corporate headquarters of the store chain. And as a result of their dogged efforts, the store has taken the proactive step of removing these vile objects from their stores.

So all has been corrected now, and we have returned to normal and proper holiday representations. Our pumpkins have gone back to the correct coloring expected of these seasonal objects, orange — the same color as the hateful President residing in the White House of Horrors!

(Tires squeal in the parking lot of Channel 12 News.)