Twice failed Democratic candidate for president, Hillary Clinton, hasn’t learned that her “how do you do, fellow kids” moments are always a cringey affair, and has paired up with Teen Vogue in an effort to fight off cultural irrelevancy.

Teen Vogue announced on Twitter that one of their last print issues before their print editions are shut down is going to be guest-edited by none other than “chillin’ in Grand Rapids” grandma. But they didn’t just announce it, they billed Clinton as some kind of turning of the tide in America.

Did I mention she lost twice? Also, somebody should tell Teen Vogue — and remind Clinton for that matter — that it’s common knowledge that the DNC felt the need to rig the primaries in Clinton’s favor in order to secure her win. Clinton cheated, and her position as “center of a historic paradigm shift” is dubious at best.

But it gets even worse.

Clinton decided to include in the magazine a letter to her teen self. Before the letter begins in the issue Clinton guest-edited, big bold letters state “Hillary Clinton’s Letter to Her Teenage Self Is So Powerful,” and below that is what I’m going to assume is the title — and I’m not joking, it actually says this — “Believe in yourself. You’re going to do great.


But what really gets me is Clinton tossing in what she believes are some of her career highlights.

Down the road, your tall, handsome boyfriend who’s crazy about politics will ask you to move to Arkansas with him. It will be a pretty outlandish suggestion—in fact, your friend Sara will spend the entire drive to Little Rock trying to talk you out of it—but your heart will steer you right. Later, that same man will encourage you to run for the U.S. Senate: “You’d be great at it. I’d love to vote for you.” You should do that, too. Oh, and when president-elect Barack Obama says he wants to talk to you about a job opportunity in his cabinet, hear him out. Serving your community, your state, and your country will be the greatest privilege of your life.

Contrary to Clinton’s belief, nothing about her road to the present went “great.”

Her “tall, handsome boyfriend who’s crazy about politics” was unfaithful on multiple occasions, even lying about it as he served as the nation’s leader. She was elected to Senate in a Smurf-blue state using the power of her last name — the name her husband made famous — within political circles.

And naming an accomplishment of Clinton’s during her time as Secretary of State is a difficult task, even for Clinton herself. Let’s not forget the Benghazi fiasco, her email scandals, and the fact that she took money from one of Hollywood’s apex sexual predator’s likely knowing what kind of guy he was.

Then SHE LOST TWICE. Once after she even purchased the favor of a bankrupt DNC, which did its best to keep down a candidate everyone in the Democratic party liked more!

Some advice to Clinton, Teen Vogue, and the left:

Hillary is done. Her unlikability maintains its height. Her relevancy is now nil, and she should fade away like candidates that ran and lost using the kind of social justice centered, culturally repulsive campaign before her — looking at you Wendy Davis.

Teen Vogue is trying to keep alive a love of what amounts to the opposite of Donald Trump, especially in the minds of younger readers. For them, Clinton is a martyr. She’s a victim to rally around. However, what has been true for Hillary Clinton in the past continues to be true now: Everything Hillary Clinton touches becomes corrupted and eventually dies.