Let's Settle This: Baby Yoda vs Gizmo

Image created by Brandon Morse for RedState

Who is better, Baby Yoda or Gizmo?

It’s a question that has haunted internet conversations since the arrival of the Baby Yoda meme, and to be honest, I’m way more interested in this than another day of the impeachment circus.

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So without further ado, let’s really analyze this rivalry between these two living MacGuffins of cuteness that double as badass weapons of war. Is it the little alien with a sippy cup of soup, Baby Yoda of The Mandalorian…

https://youtu.be/aLG1M8jOaYA

…or is it the dancing, combat-ready furball, Gizmo of Gremlins?

Let’s get the most common argument out of the way first.

Cuteness is the initial and main draw of the two characters. Oddly enough, both are similar despite their differences. They both have large, pointy ears, large eyes, small noses, and tiny stature. Both are curious and love to play as children do. So who is cuter?

Yesterday, I asked you that very question and you all answered pretty clearly that when it comes to looks alone, that Baby Yoda is the winner here.

But it’s not entirely a looks contest. The question is if you had to choose between the two, who would your companion be for all your adventures?

Let’s begin with Baby Yoda.

We don’t know a lot about the little green tyke other than that he’s 50 years old and that he has a very famous relative. His species doesn’t have a name, and there are so few of them in the Star Wars galaxy that he is thought to be the last of his species. We haven’t seen much of his combat prowess yet, except for a moment when he saved the Mandalorian from being trampled to death by an alien rhino by lifting the massive beast with the force.

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Given, he promptly fell unconscious for hours afterward from the strain. At this time, that’s about all we have in terms of usefulness from the Baby Yoda. So how can we find out whether or not he’d be a good companion for adventuring? Easy. We look at the capabilities of the aforementioned famous relative, Yoda.

Yoda was arguably one of the greatest and most powerful Jedi to ever live. He can easily lift heavy objects using the force to gently bring them to him, or pick them up and fling them at others when on the attack. What’s more, Yoda is vicious with a lightsaber, and even at the ripe old age he was during the time of the Clone Wars, managed to dance and spin around with blinding quickness during duels. To get a good idea, here’s Yoda vs. the Emperor.

As you can see, Baby Yoda is capable of doing some amazing things, but he’s still in his infancy and hasn’t demonstrated anything beyond being able to lift something with the force, which exhausts him mightly. Otherwise, Baby Yoda has to rely on the protection of the Mandalorian. One day, he’ll become so powerful that the roles will likely reverse, but that time isn’t now.

The plus here is that, when taking care of Baby Yoda, you don’t have to follow many rules. He’s been shown to be fully capable of feeding himself by eating wildlife he catches, like frogs, and unlike the species that Gizmo is, the Mogwai, Baby Yoda can eat any time he wants with zero repercussions.

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In short, Baby Yoda is easy to care for, but not very useful, at least not yet.

Now let’s take a look at Gizmo.

We know a bit more about Gizmo than we do Baby Yoda, but that’s like saying an inch is more than a millimeter. We know that Gizmo belongs to the species “Mogwai,” and that this species was the result of an alien scientist trying to bring peace to the galaxy through the use of kind, cute creatures. However, the creation was a bust as only one in thousands ended up being peaceful and kind. Gizmo, to our knowledge, is the only nice Mogwai. We also don’t know his age, but we’re told he’s had many famous owners in the past so we can assume he’s pretty ancient, though he looks and acts like a child.

While Gizmo may be the only one of his kind on Earth, creating more of them isn’t hard. Simply get them wet and they’ll spawn a bunch of little furballs that grow to maturity in no time flat. As I mentioned above, that’s not a good idea. Positive traits are recessive. What’s more, if you feed a Mogwai after midnight they soon go into a cocoon and emerge an evil gremlin. Also, they can’t go out in the sun.

Mogwais have a lot of rules that go with them, but that doesn’t make Gizmo useless.

Gizmo has proven to be intelligent and capable of picking things up quickly. He’s also resourceful and despite his kindness and good nature, he’s capable of being brutally deadly in a fight. Case in point, it was he who finished off the main bad gremlin in the first Gremlins movie by exposing him to sunlight, melting the gremlin alive. By the time the second movie rolls around, Gizmo shows how capable he is of creating weapons out of everyday objects in order to kill gremlins.

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Like a furry little Macgyver, Gizmo used random office supplies to turn himself into a tiny Rambo and burned a gremlin alive. He’s small and cute, but savage when he wants to be.

https://youtu.be/pv0PncJGykU

So who is better?

Baby Yoda is definitely going to grow up to be something special one day, but right now he’s your standard toddler with the power to move things with his mind. Any parent will tell you that a toddler without force powers is tough enough to take care of. What’s more, Yoda is 50 years old and is still a baby due to the aging process his species goes through. By the time he becomes a mature adult, you may already have been dead a while.

Meanwhile, Gizmo is definitely the more useful but comes with a host of rules that could really make things difficult for you and everyone else if you slip up. That said, the mistakes made to create those problems are accidents, and Gizmo is capable of knowing what to avoid in order to keep his spawn from causing problems.

When all things are considered, the winner is…

Gizmo.

You may think I’m wrong, and if so, make your arguments in the comments or yell at me on Twitter. However, my reasoning is pretty solid. Gizmo will never look any different than what he does now no matter how long he lives, which is effectively forever. His cuteness and baby-like demeanor will never subside, while Baby Yoda will grow up to look like Yoda, who we can all agree isn’t exactly a looker.

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What’s more, Gizmo is smart, useful, and kind. If you’re in a bind, Gizmo will probably find a way out of it, and what’s more, he’s good in a fight. Anyone breaking into your home while Gizmo is there is going to have a bad time. Baby Yoda may help, but it won’t be a big help and it’ll tucker him out pretty quick.

“But Brandon, the gremlins!”

Yeah, I know, but those are worst-case scenario movies. According to the movies, there are only a few recorded incidents of gremlin attacks happening, and they’re actually kind of rare. So long as you follow the rules — which Gizmo will help with — then you’re golden.

As far as I’m concerned, this debate is settled. Gizmo is the king of cute.

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