In the Name of Mercy for Joe Biden, Just Call the Election Now

Democratic presidential candidate former Vice President Joe Biden speaks at a campaign event in Columbus, Ohio, Tuesday, March 10, 2020. (AP Photo/Paul Vernon)

I don’t want to jinx it. There’s still a lot of time left for Democrats to pull some dark miracle out of whichever end they chose, but at this point I’m not even sure what the Democrats plan is for the 2020 general election.

Just looking at the matchup now, I’m not sure how the Democrats win.

Their contender against the raining champ, President Donald Trump, is Joe Biden. A former vice-President who is clearly well past his expiration date. The man is clearly not of sound mind and body with Hillary Clinton-esque coughing fits and signs of mental degradation that would usually signal that it’s time to move to a retirement home.

Let’s just go over some of the things that recently happened with him that should really signal to the Democrats that they’ve bet on the wrong horse.

On March 19, there was a very embarrassing moment where Biden seemed to zone out very badly after giving a speech and his wife was forced to take the stage and escort him off. As my colleague Elizabeth Vaughn highlighted, it was a very strange thing to see:

Speaking in a quiet, somber tone, he ended his speech saying, “Thank you all. Thank you all for listening.” He stood there, motionless, staring ahead as if in a trance. Was he waiting for applause?

Entering from stage right came Jill Biden to break this strange silence. Somewhat startled by her sudden appearance, he smiles, says “Thanks. Thanks.”

He says, “Okay.” Wife exits stage right. He takes one more look at “his audience” and follows her.

Very strange.

Do they really think they’re fooling people?

Perhaps Biden was unclear about what was going on with this online stuff. He is, after all, old and not very used to doing things this way, but his reactions wasn’t particularly normal. He seemed like he was in a dream state and not quite clear about what he was doing. His wife had to sweep in and help the situation.

The next one, as highlighted by my colleague Bonchie, showed Biden is doing another live stream where appears once again to be confused about a number of things like what year it is and when he would be assuming office.

The thing is, Biden has had to interact with the digital era very often, very recently. Even for an old man not used to using this kind of equipment, the learning curve isn’t that steep. A man in his right mind would have been able to learn the ropes by now and these things would have gone more smoothly.

But he’s not learning. He’s continuously displaying an inability to acclimate to his surroundings, he forgets basic things on a constant basis, and on top of that, tends to get angrier than he should for someone running for the highest office in the land. Don’t forget that Biden recently threatened an autoworker with physical violence.

Now aside from the fact that Biden is displaying a clear lack of capability in terms of mental faculties, let’s look at how excited his base is.

I’m just going to cut to the chase. They’re not excited at all.

Bonchie highlighted Thursday that when Biden is reaching out to the people with virtual happy hours, almost no one is showing up.  To make matters worse, they had to disable the comments section because of a lot of the people who showed up to virtually hang out with Biden weren’t friendly to his campaign.

Bonchie put it well:

We are going to find out in November whether having the excitement levels of a hot dog eating contest matter or not, because Biden’s inability to bring any spark to the table is obvious. I mean, how is it even possible that a guy with 4.5M followers on Twitter can’t get more than 2800 viewers for a live stream?

Let’s say that Trump royally screws up this Coronavirus response from here on (doubtful) and narratives actually take root in the American populace and Trump’s numbers plunge (they won’t). Even if that happens, his opponent is still Joe Biden, who is at this point no opponent at all.

In fact, I’m honestly just starting to feel bad that Biden is in the position he is. I feel like the poor guy has been thrust into this and can’t back out despite the fact that it’s clear he’s in no condition to be where he is.

I’m definitely for the process and letting things playout in the timeline we as a country have set for the choosing of our leader to happen, but boy do I feel like it’d be merciful to just let Joe go and get the election over right now.

Brandon Morse
Senior Editor. Culture critic, and video creator. Good at bad photoshops.
Read more by Brandon Morse