Well, with most of the candidates out there and a few we’ve never heard of, let’s examine the 2016 logos on the GOP side. We may, or may not, have asked each candidate for first person commentary on their own logos.

Jeb Bush

Bush

Hi!! My name is Jeb!! I don’t have a last name because I’m your buddy!! And millennials will like me because I show I care and have heart with my exclamation point!!! Did I mention I’m Jeb!!?!

Ben Carson

Carson

Red, Yellow, Black, and White, and Blue — we are all precious in his sight and I could not make up my mind what color I wanted. My God in Heaven!!! They just told me how much it is going to cost using FOUR colors on all the signs. Do the consultants just look at me like I’m a bag of money?

[mc_name name=’Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’C001098′ ]

Cruz

I eat the tears of Americans who fly the flag upside down as a warning against my rise. Yummy. Yummy.

Carly Fiorina

Fiorina

To the point. It’s all business — California cool, minimalist, no flash, sleek, and I’ll gut you while you’re staring at the star.

[mc_name name=’Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’G000359′ ]

Graham

Serifs #FTW. I will paint that logo on the side of [mc_name name=’Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000595′ ]’s boat and win the America’s cup. Screw you, Ellison.

Mike Huckabee

Huckabee

You know how trendy it is these days to announce you’re having a boy or girl by opening a boy and letting out blue or pink balloons? America, if you elect me Presisdent, we’re getting f–king leprechauns!!

Bobby Jindal

Jindal

I’m an American candy cane. And you may think that “J” is for Jindal, but there’s some Jesus in there too.

George Pataki

Pataki

Now, you may not remember me. You may not know who I am. But see that House of Cards style American flag? Yeah, before you know it, I’m going to throw the other candidates in front of a train and be your President faster than you can say Fatty Arbuckle. Hell of a movie star that guy was, by the way.

Rick Perry

Perry

The Perry Presidents are going to kick ass this season. Who doesn’t like rooting for a sports team! I’ll be your favorite sports team and it’s Presidential baseball while I call balls and strikes because … experience. And Texas!

[mc_name name=’Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’P000603′ ]

Rand

“The right of liberty means man’s right to individual action, individual choice, individual initiative and individual property. Without the right to private property no independent action is possible.” That’s Ayn Rand. Me? I just say flame on people! Let’s light this candle in the wind.

[mc_name name=’Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)’ chamber=’senate’ mcid=’R000595′ ]

Rubio

Notice how America sits on top of me? I hold up the American dream. When I get in my Marcoboat and sail around Hillary Clinton’s pool, all I can think is “America! F–k Yeah!” Is it football season yet?

Rick Santorum

Santorum

I am Birdman!

Donald Trump

Trump logo header

WHEN I AM PRESIDENT AMERICA WILL CRAP GOLD BRICKS ON CHINA’S HEAD. YOU JERKS DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. THE TRUMP BRAND IS GOING TO GOLD PLATE AMERICA. SHUT THE HELL UP, KRAUTHAMMER.

Scott Walker

Walker

Scott, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Walker who bold goes where no Republican has gone before — like Wisconsin to face the unions and the lib’ruls whose collectivists asses I kicked.