Joss Whedon (yeah, he’s a director, blah blah, Marvel, blah blah, but also a social media douche) is really, really scared that Planned Parenthood might lose federal funding. He’s always been a bit of a jackwagon on Twitter, but the AHCA vote and the pre-existing conditions lies have him operating at an entirely different level.

As a way of, he hopes, bringing attention to all of the great things Planned Parenthood does, and only Planned Parenthood does (in his eyes, of course) he created a short film for the nonprofit baby parts warehouse titled “Unlocked” to illustrate what he thinks the world would look like without Planned Parenthood.

Wanna predict the plot line now?

Wow, you got it. Of course, in Whedon’s view of a future without Planned Parenthood, this is what would happen:

Of course you know, as our Kimberly Ross pointed out, that the 2017 spending bill does not touch Planned Parenthood’s funding, and that the federal funds the organization receives are an extremely small portion of their overall budget. But that doesn’t stop Whedon from implying that somehow Planned Parenthood is on the brink of extinction. The falsehoods and predictions of people dying (especially minority women) start in the opening frames of the film.

A minority woman losing her life (hey hey Joss, where’s your film about Gosnell?) from pregnancy complications, a cheerleader-looking student being unable to attend college because she’s a mom… whoa, dude. If it wasn’t such a serious topic I’d say this is great Onion-style satire. Is that what you really think it would look like?

Do these women even know adoption is an option? An option that allowed quite a few of my good friends to, you know, be alive?

I think that #AWorldWithoutPlannedParenthood would be a world where former Planned Parenthood staffers work in a medical office or medical group, having watched women receive needed birth control, prenatal care and counseling – and then watching them raise incredible daughters and sons. (Kinda along the lines of this satire piece here.)