If you’re struggling, like we are, to identify with most of the people honored at the Oscars, we bring you an award acceptance speech with which you might identify.
Adam Sandler was snubbed by the Academy, but snagged the award for best male lead in the 2020 Independent Spirit Awards for Uncut Gems Saturday. His speech was perfection. (WARNING: Profanity)
Here we go real quick. Hello, my name is Adam Sandler. I stand before you trembling with glee as I receive this so-called best actor trophy, independently speaking, of course. First off, it’s good to see our host Aubrey Plaza again.
That was actually the last time critics pretended not to hate me for five f’n minutes. Catch you in another 11 years, Aubrey. I’d also like to give a shout out to my fellow nominees, who will now and forever be known as the guys who lost to f’n Adam Sandler.
A few weeks back when I was quote, unquote, snubbed by the Academy, it reminded me when I briefly attended high school and I was overlooked for the coveted yearbook superlative category, Best Looking.
That accolade was given to a jean-jacket wearing feather-haired douchebag by the name of Skipper Jenkins. But my classmates did honor me with the allegedly less prestigious designation of Best Personality. And tonight, as I look around this room, I recognize that the Independent Spirit Awards are the Best Personality Awards of Hollywood.
So when those feather-haired douchebag motherf’ers get their Oscars tomorrow night, remember that their handsome good looks will fade in time, but our independent personalities will shine on forever!
In all seriousness, the independent films have been a big part of the Adam Sandler ecosystem. From my first film — a fearless look in the American education system through the eyes of a privileged sociopath by the name of Billy f’king Madison — to my searing exploration of American college foosball and its manipulation of socially challenged athletes like the Mr. Bobby Boucher, I have tried to sell my truths with a truly independent spirit, while also cashing some truly disturbingly large paychecks.
But tonight is about Uncut Gems…two years ago Scott said the words that would forever change my life, “No, those aren’t homeless rabbis. Those are the Safdie brothers.”
We can’t give any explanation (other than the obvious) for why the Academy judges the way they do, but Sandler’s slapstick comedy is more “real” than anything the rest of Hollywood can contrive with their SJW filters. Hats off to Adam Sandler for keeping it real during this awards season.