I’ve been tremendously unmoved lately to write about anything political. So many issues now create a square-wave oscillation between left-wing hysterical conspiracy theories and right-wing defend Trump at all costs water-carrying…and that’s without even delving into social media or the blogosphere. It’s become a lot like trying to have a productive discussion at 2 AM with someone during their seventeenth round of frat party beer pong.

But I can’t stay silent about what may be President Trump’s greatest offense. This is something I cannot overlook or forgive.

He has made me agree with John F(ing) Kerry.

Candidate John Kerry displays his spermatazoon cosplay prowess.

I have difficulty expressing just how irritating it is to be put on the same page about anything with that commie sympathizing, unjustifiably pompous, wizened offspring of an Easter Island statue and Waylon Flowers’ “Madame” puppet.

It comes in the context of Vladimir Putin’s offer to trade investigation of Russian hackers indicted for meddling in for prosecution of Americans whom Vlad would relish impaling.

At this week’s summit in Helsinki, Russian President Vladimir Putin proposed what President Trump described as an “incredible offer” — the Kremlin would give special counsel Robert S. Mueller III access to interviews with Russians who were indicted after they allegedly hacked Democrats in 2016. In return, Russia would be allowed to question certain U.S. officials it suspects of interfering in Russian affairs.

One of those U.S. officials is a former U.S. ambassador to Moscow, Michael McFaul, a nemesis of the Kremlin because of his criticisms of Russia’s human rights record.

This is obviously not a serious offer but rather a nose-thumbing attempt to embarrass Trump. Still, the White House hasn’t declared it completely out of bounds. At least not publicly, as noted by Democrat stenographer NBC journalist John Harwood.

This led to a reply from Jane Fonda’s favorite wind-surfing totem pole.

Kerry is absolutely right. Though, I’d probably replace “dangerous” with “dumb” because I don’t think even Trump would ever seriously consider the offer. Maybe I’m being too charitable. That remains to be seen, I suppose. That offer should have been swiftly rejected in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan.

I’ve avoided commenting too much about the Trump and Putin press conference debacle primarily because I chalk it up to the President being inexperienced and too obsessed with the notion that he’s the victim of a “witch hunt” to answer a question about Russia meddling in our politics without going scatterbrained. (You may have noticed that our President is not the most articulate individual even when not under stress.)

I couldn’t let this go without remarking on it though.

My only consolation is the suspicion that Kerry doesn’t mean a word of this. I can easily imagine President “Tell Vladimir I will have more flexibility (with which to bend over) after the election” contemplating the offer and Secretary of State Kerry offering to get a decrepit James Taylor to serenade Putin with “You’ve Got a Friend,” because the 1980s called and they want their foreign policy back.