The moment you saw this headline, you knew. Without a doubt, this is the most exciting thing you’re going to read all day.

Sure, there are protests and riots going on. There is still a pandemic to worry about. Donald Trump has now claimed he made up Jim Mattis’ “Mad Dog” nickname. There is so much going on in the world that it’s really just overwhelming.

But, in the midst of all this darkness, a headline appeared over here at RedState dot com that made you stop and forget all of the other troubles of the world. For a moment, you forgot all that negativity and saw, for an instant, that there is a God, and he can provide you with a distraction so powerful it is nothing short of a miracle.

A Spanish porn star — that’s right, an adult movie actor from Spain — may have killed someone, and may have done so while high. On toad venom.

There is so much happening in this headline that you have to stop and re-read it a few times just to see if your eyes are playing tricks on you. Dear readers, your eyes are just fine. This precise order of words, “A Spanish Porn Star Killed a Dude While High on Toad Venom”, is not your brain trying to function through a ruptured aneurysm. This is a real story that happened, and it is my honor to present it to you.

As I was scrolling through all the negativity on Twitter, I saw this story posted. Immediately, I felt that it was my duty to share it with you all.

https://twitter.com/WardieJerusalem/status/1268316960099573762

I realize that there is so much happening in this tweet that you might need a minute to sit back in your chair and contemplate the universe, but take your time. I insist. This is something we can walk through together, author and reader, hand in hand.

First of all, the candles are described as “aromatic.” What do they smell like? I dare not even research this question further.

Anyway, the tweet links to this piece at Yahoo! News.

Nacho Vidal was detained last week in the southeastern Valencia region in connection with the death of a man in July 2019.

Media identified the victim as fashion photographer Jose Luis Abad.

“The police operation began following the victim’s death during the celebration of a mystic ritual based on the inhalation of venom of the bufo alvarius toad,” a police statement said.

Imagine being the police officer called to this scene, investigating this tragedy. I realize that the police here in America have some issues of their own to work through right now, but imagine being a police officer and having to work this case. I can’t imagine it.

I also cannot imagine being the journalist who has to research the type of toad that sends you on a shamanistic acid trip, but most reporters go their whole careers without landing a story this amazing. To be totally honest with you all, I am jealous of this reporter.

The toad, a rare species which is native to the Sonoran Desert, stretching from northern Mexico into California and Arizona, secretes venom containing a very powerful natural psychedelic substance known as 5-MeO-DMT.

Its effects have been compared to ayahuasca, a powerful hallucinogenic concoction from the Amazon consumed as part of a shamanic ritual.

Police investigated this case for almost a year before arresting the porn star.

The ritual, it appears, is being offered pretty regularly in Spain. According to this news report, it is advertised to provide medical benefits to those who partake in it. But, alas, the reality is nowhere near as awesome as the theory. The ritual actually poses serious health risks because the psychedelic toad venom just makes people who are seeking treatment for addiction and personality disorders more susceptible to mental problems.

For example, it led a man who is a Spanish porn star to kill another man.

I would like to thank you for joining me on this journey, everyone. I realize that there are more pressing matters going on, but it is my sincere hope that you read the headline and read through this man’s story and felt, if even for a moment, better about yourself and your life. When you see a headline like “A Spanish Porn Star Killed a Dude While High on Toad Venom”, you know, deep within your heart, that the sun will shine just a bit brighter when you walk outside.

God bless.

Joe Cunningham
Joe Cunningham is a Senior Editor at RedState. You can find his commentary on Louisiana issues at The Hayride. You can also follow him on Twitter at @JoePCunningham and Like his page on Facebook.
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