This week the internet lit up with the news that convicted pedophile and mother-of-the-century winner Mary Kay Letourneau and her victim husband of 12 years, Vili Fualaau have filed for divorce. Letourneau served seven years in prison for starting a sexual relationship with Fualaau when he was her student of just 12 years old. The former teacher gave birth to two children with Fualaau but lost full custody of her four children with her now ex-husband. The scandal forced the family to move and change their names so the children could escape public scrutiny. Letourneau reportedly hasn’t seen or heard from them since.

Speculation for the divorce was rampant, including the 22-year age difference and the idea that maybe Fualaau finally broker out of his Stockholm Syndrome.

As it turns out the divorce might not be real at all. Fualaau says it’s all for show and only a legality as he attempts to get licensed to sell a marijuana product known as “cigaweed”. Apparently being married to a registered sex offender isn’t a plus when trying to become a government-sanctioned drug dealer.

“It’s not necessarily what you think,” he told Radar Online. “When you want to get licensed, they do background checks on both parties. If I decide to be a part of it, I have to be licensed, and I have to be vetted, and so does a spouse. She has a past. She has a history.”

America can breathe a sigh of relief. If a grown woman who abandoned her own children so she could have sex with a 12-year-old boy can’t find happiness what chance do any of us have?

It turns out true love isn’t really dead, it’s just high.