Seems like our President is kinda bald, in a gross way:
If I were someone crass like Donald Trump, I might respond to this by saying: Yuck. Look at that head! He’s disgusting. He’s no longer a 10. His hair loss is a real problem. He’s probably bleeding badly from scalp reduction surgery.
I already know that the comments section will be filled with squealing that would make a stuck pig jealous. How dare I, etc. etc. The scolds will put their hands on their hips and cluck their tongues, saying that anyone who would dare comment on this just discredits themselves, yada yada yada. I could write these trite and predictable comments myself. Indeed, the people who have noted this so far have gone crazy anticipating this negative reaction, and have rationalized to the nth degree their decision to say something in public about it, because they know the tut-tut brigade will be out in full force. It’s as if they feel ashamed to even be saying anything about.
Not me. I’m not ashamed to note this — at all. So you can save your outrage that I’m commenting on the guy’s appearance. Why do I feel zero shame doing so? For a whole host of reasons. Here are merely five of them:
1. Trumpalos like fighting fire with fire, right? Well, few people have spent so much time commenting about other people’s appearance as Donald Trump. Here’s a nice summary. Trump has called women fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals. And no, not just Rosie O’Donnell. He said Heidi Klum is “no longer a 10.” He said “Look at that face!” about Carly Fiorina. He posted that nasty tweet about Heidi Cruz. He called Alicia Machado “Miss Piggy” and “Miss Housekeeping” and said on Fox & Friends that her weight was a “real problem.” In talking in the Access Hollywood tape about moving on Nancy O’Dell “like a bitch” Trump said: “Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.” Mika Brzezinski was “bleeding badly from a face-lift.”
If you can’t condemn Trump’s comments about others’ appearance, in a firm, full-throated, unapologetic, non-half-assed way — then you know exactly where you can cram your outrage over my posting this video.
2. It’s not that he’s bald. It’s the ridiculous and laughable steps he takes to cover it up that are absurd. The clip above seems to confirm the account given by that demon from Hell, Michael Wolff, in his book “Fire and Fury.” Wolff says that Ivanka herself explained Trump’s ridiculous hair as a bizarre result of a weird scalp-reduction surgery:
She treated her father with a degree of detachment, even irony, going so far as to make fun of his comb-over to others. She often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate — a contained island after scalp-reduction surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray. The color, she would point out to comical effect, was from a product called Just for Men — the longer it was left on, the darker it got. Impatience resulted in Trump’s orange-blond hair color.
Seems about right, doesn’t it? Remember point #1? For a guy who comments about other people’s appearance so much, this sort of ridiculous compensation for what normally happens to aging men is pathetic.
3. Presidents are too venerated in general. They need to be taken down a peg on a regular basis. That means Trump, Obama, Bush — the lot of them.
4. But a bully like Trump especially deserves to be taken down. There’s nothing I like more than mocking a bully.
5. I enjoy making the most extreme Trumpalos cry and wail and gnash their teeth. Your overdone outrage makes me smile. Your tears of anger taste delicious to me.
So go ahead. Commence your tut-tutting and squealing. Just know this: your odds of causing me to feel Deep Shame are precisely zero.