President Trump spoke — as in he said some words — with reporters on Thursday about the latest news regarding his deals with Democrats over the replacement for DACA and Republicans balking. However, in true Trumpian fashion, it’s up in the air as to what he meant.

I’m pretty good at English. I speak it, read it and unfortunately for all of you, write it. That being said, reading Trump’s comments about the DACA replacement is one big mess of a word salad.

Here’s what he said, from Axios:

  • “Very important is the wall. We have to be sure the wall isn’t obstructed because without the wall I wouldn’t do anything… It doesn’t have to be here but they can’t obstruct the wall if its in a budget or anything else.”
  • “We’re not looking at citizenship. We’re not looking at amnesty. We’re looking at allowing people to stay here… I just spoke with Paul Ryan, everybody’s on board.”
  • “We’re talking about taking care of people, people who were brought here, people who’ve done a good job… We’ll only do it if we get extreme security, not only surveillance but everything that goes with surveillance. If there’s not a wall, we’re doing nothing.”

As with logic and math, sometimes breaking things down to their components helps with understanding. So, here’s what Trump said broken down by sentence.

“Very important is the wall.” Okay, got it.

“We have to be sure the wall isn’t obstructed because without the wall I wouldn’t do anything.” Trump’s not going to do anything if there’s no wall.

It doesn’t have to be here but they can’t obstruct the wall if it’s in a budget or anything else.” So, there’s no wall with the DACA replacement but the Democrats can’t obstruct it if the wall is part of some other bill in the future.

“We’re not looking at citizenship.” Okay. If there’s no path to citizenship, why bother?

“We’re not looking at amnesty.” We’re not? He needs to look up that word.

“We’re looking at allowing people to stay here.” Ah ha! So he does know what amnesty means. But, wait…what?

“I just spoke with Paul Ryan, everybody’s on board.” Does Paul Ryan know he called, because…Pretty sure Paul Ryan said he wasn’t on board.

“We’re talking about taking care of people…” Aw, that’s nice of us.

“…people who were brought here…” Cough…Illegally…cough.

“..people who’ve done a good job…” I’m listening…

“We’ll only do it if we get extreme security…” I assume this is like Extreme Bowling.

“…not only surveillance but everything that goes with surveillance.” So, like binoculars and stuff, I guess.

“…If there’s not a wall, we’re doing nothing.” Oh…okay. So, about that taking care of people thing. That’s just out the window then?

Well, I don’t know about you but that exercise made me feel better. It wasn’t me who couldn’t make sense of Trump’s words. Trump’s sentences were just a word salad of stuff that sounds good but actually make no sense and in reality contradict each other.

Never change, Mr. President.