Ms. Milano continues to truly embody the name of her podcast, “Sorry Not Sorry.”
She has no regrets, you see. And absolutely nothing to apologize for. Especially when it comes to the two abortions she had in 1993 while, she says, on birth control and in a serious, committed relationship.
Because if she hadn’t sucked those little lives out of her uterus, she wouldn’t have had the career and the family she has today.
Oh, does my description of abortion bother you? Sorry not sorry.
Alyssa Milano, 46, revealed in the latest episode of her podcast this week that she made the “devastating” decision to have two abortions while in a serious relationship in 1993.
Milano, who was in her early 20s and had just finished working on “Who’s the Boss?” at the time, said she knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother, according to People.
“I chose. It was my choice,” she said on “Alyssa Milano: Sorry Not Sorry.” “And it was absolutely the right choice for me.”
“I would not have my children [Elizabeth, 4, and son Milo, 7] — my beautiful, perfect, loving, kind and inquisitive children who have a mother who was so very, very ready for them,” she said. “I would not have my career. I would not have the ability or platform I use to fight against oppression with all my heart. I would never have met my amazing husband, David, whose steadfast and immeasurable love for me sustains me through these terrifying times,” according to People.
Ok so the basic premise here is that Milano sacrificed — and there’s no mistaking what she’s saying; she talks about how difficult the decision (both times) was for her to make — her children to the God of career and her now “beautiful, perfect” children and “amazing” husband. For such a progressive woman, that’s very Old Testament stuff. And I’m going to refrain from a long diatribe about the words people use when they’re trying to convince themselves (and everyone else) that their situation is perfection. But there is a psychological term for it: reaction formation.
Rx “Milano told her audience that she would not have her acting career or her activist platform had she not made the decision to get abortions.” It’s called reaction formation, @Alyssa_Milano, look it up, get some counseling for the guilt you’ve lived with. https://t.co/huAj2eZG3O
— The Gormogons (@Gormogons) August 21, 2019
Reaction formation, according to Wikipedia is:
“In psychoanalytic theory, reaction formation is a defense mechanism in which emotions and impulses which are anxiety-producing or perceived to be unacceptable are mastered by exaggeration of the directly opposing tendency.”
I’d say exhortations of immeasurable love and fighting oppression with all her heart and soul fit into this category.
Anyway, I’m not trying to judge women who get pregnant unexpectedly — twice in the same year — and feel incapable of the responsibility. I think that’s pretty normal for young people.
And I think Milano is very, very normal. Almost…typical. Certainly of the mantra she’s selling that viewing human life as disposable is really no biggie.
What’s extraordinary and well outside the norm are the young ladies who face the same set of circumstances and give a thought to the child’s life and the ways in which providence can play a role in an individual’s life path.
Milano wasn’t strong enough to protect herself better against an unwanted pregnancy; nor, it would seem, to accept the consequences of her own choices.
So, even if her life is marvelous because she’s not burdened with two unwanted babies she definitely never would have loved, she’s still pretty marvelously weak when it comes to making good, women’s health-related decisions and realistically accepting the results of those decisions.
Not sure she’d be my go-to for advice on contraception or pregnancy, but that’s likely ok with her. Her life is so, so good.