BREAKING. Michael Avenatti Discovers Being Tried In the Media Is a Bad Thing
Yesterday, Karma chugged a bottle of cheap rye whiskey, picked up a 2×4 it found laying about, and went after CreepyPornLawyerTM Michael Avenatti.
Avenatti, it seems, beat the dogcrap out of his ex-wife and was heard bleating “she him me first” (every real man says that, donchaknow?) as though he was a second grader who’d just been nabbed by the vice principal after a playground scuffle.
The details are pretty ugly even by the standards we’d expect from a desiccated specimen of manhood like Avenatti:
Our sources say the alleged incident occurred Tuesday night, but there was another confrontation Wednesday between the two at an exclusive apartment building in the Century City area of L.A.
We’re told Wednesday afternoon the woman was on the sidewalk on her cellphone with sunglasses covering her eyes, sobbing and screaming on the phone, “I can’t believe you did this to me. I’m going to get a restraining order against you.”
We’re told security brought her inside the building, took her upstairs and Michael showed up 5 minutes later and ran into the building. He screamed repeatedly, “She hit me first.” We’re told he angrily added, “This is bulls***, this is f***ing bulls***.” We’re told he tried getting into the elevator but security denied him access.
Cops showed up and escorted Avenatti into a corner of the apartment lobby and spoke with him for 5 to 10 minutes and then took him into custody.
After being released on bail, Avenatti, an announced 2020 Democrat presidential hopeful, gave a press conference.
Keep in mind that it is Avenatti who is under investigation for ginning up fake accusations of sexual misconduct against JUSTICE Brett Kavanaugh and who had these thoughts about due process and presumption of innocence only a few weeks ago.
Yes, just a few weeks ago, Avenatti was a very strong believer in #BelieveWomen, the bizarre, counter-factual, counter-intellectual argument that women never lie about things like domestic violence or sexual assault and that due process is some misogynistic ritual used by the patriarchy to keep the Handmaid’s Tale alive, and now he’s claiming he will be vindicated when the facts are known. How very strange.
The difference between this case and Kavanaugh’s, of course, are legion. Avenatti is documented in court records as a wife beater. You look at the guy (by the way, where does this guy get a physique that can make a $3,000 suit wear like it is off-the-rack from Men’s Wearhouse?) and you just know he’s wearing a wife-beater undershirt with pasta sauce stains underneath. In this case, the events didn’t occur nearly four decades ago and the woman making the allegations, much to her shame and chagrin, has actually shared a bed with Avenatti so the chances of mistaken identification are nil. And the police actually arrested and charged Avenatti.
Funny how now, after engaging in the worst sort of character assassination he is demanding that he be given a presumption of innocence and a fair hearing, something he has denied to Brett Kavanaugh.
It is nearly inevitable that Avenatti eventually claims that his wife was inadvertently injured as he practiced for his coming MMA fight with Donald Trump, Jr.
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