Of course John Kerry is running in 2020. In 2020 he’ll be 76, and just the spry, fresh new face Democrats are counting on to reach the next generation of voters.
Are you skeptical?
You won’t be for long. The former Secretary of State and Fred Gwynne stand-in spoke at the annual Alfalfa Club dinner in Washington, D.C. last night, and managed to whip of some real zingers.
“Despite the pressure he’s under, the White House physician says President Trump is in great shape — a trim 239 pounds. Personally, I just won’t believe him until he produces his long-form girth certificate,” Kerry said on Saturday.
Get it? GIRTH certificate. It’s like “birth” certificate, but he said “girth,” instead.
This was an obvious play on Trump’s recent physical results. The presidential doctor, Navy Rear Admiral Ronny Jackson read the results, saying Trump was in “excellent” health, and listed his weight as 239 pounds.
That particular assessment set off a firestorm on social media of people who just did not believe it, posting comparisons between Trump and various athletes of similar height and weight.
The “girther theory” was born.
Now, I have doubts about Trump’s weight. In late 2016 he appeared on the Dr. Oz Show with what he said were the results of his latest physical. His gave his weight as 267 pounds.
The comment also parodied Trump’s past push to obtain Obama’s birth certificate. The White House in 2011 released a copy of Obama’s original long-form birth certificate from 1961. Trump in 2016 admitted he believed Obama was born in the U.S.
Do you see what he did there?
I’m sure all the 20-something hipsters can’t wait to vote for such a funny guy.