Do you ache for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue the way the high-waisted yellow guy hankers for a hunka cheese?
Do you lie in wait in a creepy way at the supermarket, just dyin’ to get your sneaky mitts on the skimpy rag as soon as it slaps against that metal rack?
Well, this year, you’re gettin’ more for your money. Dig it — it’s heavy.
Hunter’s the magazine’s brand spankin’ new “obese” model.
And why? Because “exposure to diversity is the catalyst that will ignite tolerance, acceptance and understanding”:
— Sports Illustrated Swimsuit (@SI_Swimsuit) May 8, 2019
Could you eat a wagon wheel?
As for Hunter’s claims, two questions:
1. On all counts, how??
2. Is that why people buy the Swimsuit Issue?
SI also posted a video of Hunter, telling us the model is “fire”:
Hunter McGrady + Costa Rica = 🔥 pic.twitter.com/XBQHMdcNWL
— Sports Illustrated Swimsuit (@SI_Swimsuit) May 10, 2019
Of course, Sports Illustrated’s also going full-on burkini in the 2019 issue:
— Hunter McGrady (@HunterMcGrady) April 29, 2019
So there’s a fit model covered from head to toe, and a fat model laid mostly-bare.
I suppose I have a different view of a swimsuit magazine than does Hunter. My idea is: It’s a swimsuit magazine. It ain’t gonna change nothin’ ’bout the world.
Also: The notion that merely showing men an image will magically trick ’em into jonesin’ for it is ridiculous. Guys already see women like Hunter at Walmart. If it hasn’t hypnotized them yet, it ain’t gonna. Dudes turn to a $10 glossy bikini buffet to find the best curves the planet has to offer, not the most average bod they can ocularly molest in line at McDonald’s. When you crank up your radio, do you wanna hear the greatest singers in the world, or a crooner that lays it down like your Great Uncle Harold?
Nobody’s ogling a book famously filled with the likes of Claudia Schiffer, Laetitia Casta, Brooklyn Decker and Kate Upton to partake in social revolution. The hairy-backed among us check out ladyparts poorly obscured by fish nets and inadequate triangles held in place with dental floss for reasons similar to their utilization of Hustler. In toxically masculine hands, any pages not appealing to a baser nature will just be flipped past.
Just my opinion. Hunter has her own:
“It takes one person, one publication or one label to make that leap into being inclusive and diverse and to speak out on behalf of those who are not able to. Exposure to diversity is the catalyst that will ignite tolerance, acceptance and understanding. Every generation has the opportunity to do something great to impact the world in a positive way. We will be the generation that shatters perceptions.”
Well, at the very least: Congratulations to Hunter McGrady for snagging a high-profile modeling job.
What are your thoughts? Let us all know in the Comments section.
And here’s more to help you change your aberrant caveman ways:
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