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In case you haven’t heard, the world’s gone mad — and I mean that in both ways.

At least, such was the case Thursday in San Diego, when all of the following allegedly occurred:

Jarrett Kelley and his wife, Ash O’Brien, were soaking up the sun and chowing down at the Rhodes Dog Park.

But things got ruff when their dog day afternoon turned into a hairy situation, courtesy of a Karen.

Amid Jarret, Ash, and their three-month-old puppy’s picnic, an irate woman approached and began to hound them.

The livid lady yelled at the trio, labeling them ‘idiots.”

So this happened today at dusty rhodes dog park today in ocean beach. This is my husband getting maced by a random old lady. We had our 3 month old pug with us. We were just sitting down eating lunch and minding our own business. We were not wearing masks because we were eating. You can’t wear a mask and eat at the same time. She kept calling us idiots and flipping me off. Then she started saying more stuff and I told her to leave the park and stop harassing us. She then came right up to our table wear we were eating, pointed the mace at me first and got a little on me, and then my husband stepped in and took the entire can. Thank god for the bystander that took this video because we are going to the police now to press charges. I am sharing this because people need to watch out for this lady in San Diego. Please share to spread awareness. That is me crying hysterically in the background because my innocent husband just got maced for no reason. We want justice.

Posted by Ash Sherilynn OBrien on Thursday, July 23, 2020

 

And though no bird dogs (presumably) were present, the wacky woman starting shooting them the bird.

Why all the woefulness? It was this: Neither husband nor wife was wearing a mask.

As per Ash’s Facebook post, she thought they had a good excuse:

“We were not wearing masks because we were eating. You can’t wear a mask and eat at the same time. … Then she started saying more stuff, and I told her to leave the park and stop harassing us.”

That was what you might call an ignition point.

The angry activist opened a can(ister) — not of whoop-a**, but pepper:

“She…came right up to our table [where] we were eating, pointed…mace at me first and got a little on me, and then my husband stepped in and took the entire can.”

Call him Gentleman Jarrett — some lay jackets over mud puddles, others take eyeballs full of oleoresin capsicum.

Ash explained to ABC10:

“She just came up without saying anything and just stuck the mace can right in front of my face. My husband, being a good guy, walked in front of her and was like ‘Hey, calm down, please don’t do this.’ And then she grabbed him and just starting macing him; she used the entire can on him.”

The couple and their dog went to the hospital, where Jarrett received treatment for his face on fire.

As for Ash, she thinks the lady’s attack was what you get when you cross a bulldog with a shih tzu:

“I want her to go to jail. She assaulted my husband, and I’m angry about it.”

More from Facebook:

“My husband is a very mature man, and I wouldn’t have wanted him to handle the situation any other way. All we want from this is for her to get arrested so she can’t put any people or animals at risk. We are not looking for money or anything like that. We just want this woman in jail.”

As it turns out, the park had a No Food policy. But Ash told KGTV they were unaware.

And there was no need for the snoopy woman to treat them like the Red Baron:

“If we knew there was a no food policy, we wouldn’t have brought it into the park. … The lady who maced him automatically started saying stuff about us not wearing a mask when we were social distancing. There was no one near us. People don’t need to be getting assaulted for not wearing a mask in a public outdoor area.”

Here’s something else in Ash and Jarrett’s favor, and I doubt they’ve thought of it: Ms. Mace violated that food policy, too — the contents of her canister was cayenne pepper.

Regardless, remember folks: Don’t you dare eat without your masks on.

#TubeFeeding

And be careful out there. In these doggedly dastardly times, not even an animal park is safe.

Society’s gone to the dogs, and the nuts are howling at the moon.

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

2020 is Bogus, But the New Trailer for ‘Bill and Ted Face the Music’ Looks Excellent

Tail of the Sea: Man Complains of Stomach Pain, Doctors Find a Large Fish in His Rectum

SuperDog: A Police K-9 Flies Through the Air and Into a Glass Window to Stop a Fleeing Felon. The Video is Incredible

A Dog in Florida Hilariously Drives Around in a Car for an Hour Before Crashing, and It’s a Perfect Metaphor for Washington

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