AP featured image
Democratic presidential candidate, former Vice President Joe Biden arrives to speak with families who have benefited from the Affordable Care Act, Thursday, June 25, 2020, in Lancaster, Pa. (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

 

Do you wear a mask everywhere you go? Do you have to?

Joe Biden’s got plans for your face, and they aren’t of the open-air sort.

Speaking to reporters in Wilmington, Delaware Thursday, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee called for a national mask mandate.

To hear Joe tell it, it’s simple — cover your punim.

At least for 90 days:

“Every American should be wearing a mask when they’re outside for the next three months at a minimum.”

As reported by Fox News, Biden’s remarks followed a discussion with public health experts.

Newly-named running mate Kamala Harris was there, too.

Joe’s got big plans:

“Let’s institute a mask mandate nationwide starting immediately, and we will save lives. The estimates are we will save over 40,000 lives in the next three months if that is done.”

There you have it, folks. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned to absolutely trust over these last several months, it’s estimates.

According to Biden, strapping that material to your face “increases exponentially the prospect that, if you are a carrier and you don’t even know it…you will not infect anyone if you cough, sneeze, sing, shout.”

“A lot of people are dying,” he said. “We’re up over 160,000…so far.”

The presidential hopeful recalled that, occasionally, he’s confronted by someone over going Full Bandit. He tells them to be patriotic:

“I say, ‘Look, this is America, be a patriot. Protect your fellow citizens. Protect your fellow citizens. Step up. Do the right thing. Do the right thing.'”

As for people being sick, the country’s definitely had its share.

At the time of this writing, the U.S. death toll stands at 170,155, with 5,408,428 confirmed cases nationwide.

From Fox:

On Wednesday, there were nearly 56,000 new cases reported and 1,499 deaths from the coronavirus, the highest number of fatalities in a single day since May.

Back to Kamala, in June of last year, she didn’t seem too impressed by Joe as a leader:

But now, she’s a big fan.

She made that clear to reporters, with regard to the big guy’s mask missive:

“That’s what real leadership looks like.”

Of course, not everyone’s a fan of Joe. Or of federal laws that say you can’t show your face in town.

Last month, President Trump indicated he’s “a believer in masks,” but he thinks governors should make the call.

He explained to Fox News Sunday:

“Everybody who is saying, ‘Don’t wear a mask’ – all of a sudden, everybody’s got to wear a mask, and as you know masks cause problems, too. With that being said, I’m a believer in masks. I think masks are good.”

Unsurprisingly, Biden’s long been a critic of Trump’s handling of the pandemic. He told press Thursday “it didn’t have to be this way.”

Joe claimed an earlier presidential response could’ve saved lives.

“I hope we learned a lesson. I hope the President has learned a lesson. But again, this is not about Democrat, Republican, or independent. It’s about saving America’s lives.”

Politics is replete with phony people saying phony things. But personally, if Joe says he’s a fan of masks, I believe him. Of everyone in the arena, he’s got the most to lose by wearing ’em — how will he be able to kiss everybody?

It’s gotta be killin’ the guy.

After all, if somehow he and Kamala can swing it in November, America will be electing President Richard Dawson:

America’s a family; with Biden on the docket, maybe we should call Election 2020 “Family Feud.”

-ALEX

 

See more pieces from me:

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Hilarious: Customer Assaults Mild-Mannered Hotel Clerk Over Having His Temperature Taken, Gets Beaten Like a Drum

Andrew Cuomo Says He Won’t Support an Independent Investigation Into New York’s COVID Nursing Home Disaster

How Much Democratic Criminal Allowance Does It Take for a Woman to Stream Herself Looting? Exactly as Much as There’s Been

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